Finn Is Not A Closet
by Alice Rocker
Summary: Finn is stuck in Kurt's closet. Kurt and Blaine stumble in making out. Finn is not a closet. KLAINE!  D One-shot.


**A/N: Why? Because I love Finn and his weirdness...yush...Review? Maybe? Please?**

**Disclaimer: *looks in the mirror* Nope. Still not Ryan Murphy. The Glee Cast (Mostly Chris Colfer) can sleep in peace without thefear that I will fly out of nowhere in the night and hug him...**

Finn was digging around in Kurt's room. He just _knew _he had left his last pair of emergency clean socks in here _somewhere._ He was kind of freaked out by being in Kurt's room at all. Probably because the last thing he remembered about this room was Kurt's dad, Burt, yelling at him.

He dug around for a while, finding nothing before he came upon one of his worst fears. Kurt's closet. Finn was mostly afraid of it because Kurt told him if he ever set foot in there again (this was after a minor football in the house incident) he would strangle and possibly _kill_ him.

So, after many bad dreams about what would happen if he ever _did _set foot in there again (Kurt strangling him with one of scarves, being stabbed to death by Kurt's Gaga heels…ect.) Finn learned to fear the wrath of Hummel and stay _away _from Kurt's closet.

But, he was also afraid he would get lost in there and never be able to find his way out. Then he would end up dying in there surrounded by many sweaters and scarves of various shapes and colors. Not a jersey or pair of cleats in sight.

Finn took a deep breath and told himself that if he didn't find his last pair of clean socks, Rachel was going to kill him. A small voice inside his head said that if went in here and didn't find his socks and Kurt found out, he would have both the wrath of Kurt _and _Rachel on him. But that was just too scary to even think about.

He went inside and started digging around. After a while he decided it kind of smelled nice in there and maybe it wouldn't be the worst place to die. After about 20 agonizing minutes, he finally came upon his white rolled up pair of Hanes socks.

He practically jumped around with joy. Now all he had to do was walk out and pretend this never-

That was about when the door slid shut and clicked like it had locked. Finn ran over to the door in a state of complete and total panic. There was still a crack in the door that allowed him to see the bed that the closet was right across from and pretty much nothing else.

He looked down and saw that the door had somehow shut and locked itself. On a slim chance that he might be able to escape to Narnia, or out of a secret door that actually led to Mongolia where a great jewel heist had just been committed and he would have 24 hours to hand over some ridiculous sum of money or the jewels would get it, somehow leading to the apocalypse.

To Finn's great disappointment as that last option had sounded pretty awesome, the only thing he found at the back of the closet was a wall and some…slightly disturbing posters.

He managed to make his way back to the front of the closet and peeked out the crack in the door again. Finn wondered if he could only reach his fingers far enough to get to the lock, than he could-

Behind him there was a sound of a door sliding shut and another lock clicked. He tried to turn around, but found that he was pressed up against the door.

Somehow, it seemed he was stuck in between two doors. Finn didn't understand why _anyone _would need two doors in their closet, practically right behind each other, but then again, here he was, stuck between too.

Thanks to that, he was kind of forced to keep looking out the crack in the door. Finn wondered that if he didn't blink long enough and the ray of sun kept going into his eye, that he would get laser vision. He thought that would be pretty awesome and if that happened, he could shoot a laser through the door and get out.

Unfortunately, that didn't seem to be happening. All that it was doing was making it surprisingly hard to blink. Finn was just remembering his plan to try and stick his fingers through the crack in the door and try to get to the lock, when Kurt's bedroom door opened.

Finn was really hoping it was his mother, kind hoping it was Kurt's dad as a second option that wasn't all that great, possibly Rachel, because she would be happy that he had tried to make an effort to find his sock, though he wondered what Rachel would be doing at his house, and even Kurt, he guessed, maybe if he explained it, Kurt wouldn't kill him slowly and just get it over with quickly.

Therefore, he was totally unprepared for Kurt and his "friend" (at least that's what he was last time Finn heard) Blaine to stumble in, still making out.

Finn kind of wanted to look away because for one, he felt like a pervert, and two, he was kind of freaked out by seeing his gay step-brother kissing some guy from his school that Finn barely knew.

Finn really hoped that they would realize that they were missing some kind of special on TV and leave, but that didn't seem to be the case as Blaine pushed Kurt down onto the bed (_right _in Finn's line of view) and began attacking his lips again.

Finn wasn't exactly sure what to do so he decided to still try to reach the lock, praying to Grilled Cheesus that the two boys wouldn't notice. He stuck his finger through and reached for the lock. He was sooo close…

Finally he gave up, realizing that he was still a few centimeters away and would be stuck here until the two guys either left or found him there. He guessed that he could ask them to get him out of there but he decided to wait until things died down.

That didn't seem to be happening any time soon, so Finn tried to imagine trying to tell Rachel what he had gone through trying to get these stupid socks. He imagined her having that bored look on her face that said 'I'm listening, but not really.'

He blinked the image out of his head and observed the two boys who didn't seem to have any intent of leaving any time soon, quite the opposite actually. Finn was really having trouble looking away because he was pretty much being shoved right into the front of the closet door and therefore couldn't help looking out.

He held out until Kurt started to reach for the top button of Blaine's polo shirt. "Uh….guys? Help, maybe?" he said, unsurely.

Blaine blinked and looked around. "Kurt, your closet is talking to us," Blaine pointed out.

"Yeah, well. It happens," Kurt said, not very intent to leave Blaine world and still fiddling with Blaine's button.

Blaine pinched him.

"Ow!" Kurt yelped grumpily. "What was that for?"

"I _said _'your closet is talking to us,'" Blaine repeated.

"What? Closets can't talk," Kurt grumbled, unhappily rolling off Blaine.

Finn took this as a good time to say something again, "Ahem. Um, I'm not a closet," he said, looking down at himself before he said this to check that he really _hadn't _become a closet in the time period between then and last time he had looked down at himself.

He found this quite difficult to manage though, as he was still stuffed between a closet door and another closet door. (Finn didn't think that had the same ring to it as rock and a hard place, but still.) So, he licked his lips, decided they didn't taste like wood, and had then spoken.

Kurt eyebrows pulled together. He _knew _that voice… "Finn?" he demanded, getting up and walking over to the closet.

"It seems we have a spy," Blaine chuckled.

"Er, no actually, you see, I was trying to find my socks and I got stuck in here. And I can't reach the lock and then you two came in and I…well….I'm not a closet," Finn tried to tell his story in a nutshell.

Blaine looked over at Kurt and who shrugged. "That's my step-brother, Finn. He's a football player," Kurt said, as if that explained everything.

Blaine just nodded as Finn decided to take that as an insult or not.

"Finn! Didn't I tell you not to go in there?" Kurt shouted.

"Well, yeah, but this was an accident!" Finn said unhappily. "Can you please get me out of here?"

Kurt rolled his eyes and Blaine helpfully unhooked the lock to closet and opened the door.

Finn stumbled forward onto the bed, which he immediately leaped off of, reminding himself to never touch it again, because you never know.

"Well, thanks," Finn said. "I'm just going to go…wash my hands…and my eyes now…" Then he went running off.

"What's with him?" Blaine asked.

Kurt just shrugged. "I guess that's what happens when a straight guy gets stuck on a closet and is forced to spy on two gay guys making out."

Blaine nodded thoughtfully as a shout came from upstairs.

"FINN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING PUTTING SOAP IN YOUR EYES?"


End file.
